A PREGNANT woman has ignited debate after sharing that she wants to give birth to her second child without her husband there.
In a post on Mumsnet, Jen* admitted she felt anxious and embarrassed over giving birth in front of him again, given his previous comments about her first labour.
The mum-of-one is due to give birth in a couple of weeks but said she can’t get over the fact that her husband has repeatedly reminded her that “some poo came out” during her last birth.
“He constantly reminds me about how it was really gross,” she says.
“He’s made references to it a few times and I don’t know if I feel comfortable knowing it might happen again and he won’t let it go.”
Despite her subtly hinting that she might not want him in the room this time around, he was insistent on being there as he was during the last birth.
“If I told him the truth that it was embarrassing that he commented, then he probably wouldn’t mention it, but I’d know he was thinking it,” she explained.
“I don’t know if it’s just hormones because he’s a very supportive husband, but I don’t think I feel comfortable with him seeing me in that situation again, or am I just being anxious?”
The post quickly received over 200 replies, with many users expressing outrage at her husband’s insensitivity.
“Why does he constantly remind you about that? So mean,” one user asked.
Another commenter encouraged her to stand her ground, stating, “Tell him you don’t want him there, and tell him why.
“I’d like to see him push something the size of a grapefruit out of himself while somehow managing to keep perfect control of his bowels.”
Many echoed this sentiment, with one saying, “What an absolute pr*ck of a man he is. Have you not told him how upsetting his comments are?”
And more support flowed in for Jen, with another user writing: “It’s your body and your choice. Of course, you will feel more comfortable and empowered if you aren’t worried about someone judging you all the time.”
How do women's figures change after giving birth?
TO SAY the body changes during pregnancy and childbirth is an understatement.
Throughout the nine months it takes for the body to bring a baby into the world, it goes through some huge physical changes.
Considering how different the body looks during pregnancy, it’s not surprising that there are some lasting changes.
And it some ways, it never does, Doctor Rachel Ward, a GP at Woodlands Medical Centre, Derby, said.
1. Wider ribcage and hips
“During pregnancy in order to accommodate a growing baby and prepare for giving birth, our body produces a hormone called relaxin,” she explained.
Relaxin works by increasing the flexibility and movement in our joints and ligaments.
“Many women find that after pregnancy the shape of their pelvis and ribcage remains different,” Dr Rachel said.
It is common to need a different bra size due to a change in chest circumference, the expert said.
“This is a reminder of the changes your body made to accommodate your baby and is nothing to be worried about,” she added.
2. Change in skin colour
During pregnancy, most women experience skin changes as it stretches to accommodate your bump and enlarging breasts.
“It is not uncommon to develop stretch marks.
“Though they will often fade over time and become a shiny pale colour, depending on your skin tone they will not go away completely,” Dr Rachel said.
“Some people do not like the way stretch marks look but they are an incredibly common change that we see in many people,” she added.
3. A change in breast shape
Breasts increase in size during pregnancy as the breast tissue prepares to produce milk.
And shortly after birth they will start to produce milk and become swollen, Dr Ward explained.
“If you choose to breast feed or not, it is likely that the shape, size and way your breasts look and feel will be different after pregnancy compared to before,” she added.
“This is not a problem but it is important that we do learn what the new normal is for our breasts so we can stay breast aware and pick up and changes that could be cancer.”
And someone else concluded with this advice: “Do what makes you comfortable, not what society says you should. Birth shouldn’t be a spectator sport.”
*Names have been changed
This story was originally published on Kidspot and has been republished here with permission.